experiencing a natural disaster is disturbing

stories from Hurricanes Katrina & Rita  

Disturbing

No One Was Ready for This

Brandy Duncan has been an RN for a little over a year, after 8 years as a paramedic. She works in pediatrics. My perspective is that lots of hospitals weren't prepared for this kind of tragedy.

I work at a pediatric hospital in Baton Rouge, LA. The facility I work for has made huge changes to help out hospitals involved in this terrible situation.

We received many small children from New Orleans Children’s Hospital on Wednesday, plus we received a few small children who were rescued from roof tops.

I'm really frustrated that it took so long for us to receive these children when the conditions were so bad at those hospitals in New Orleans. It's really sad that the hospitals weren't evacuated before the hurricane even reached land.

The government knew it was going to be bad when it finally hit. I cared for a young lady who was rescued from her roof top with her 5 children. She described how she was in her attic with her children & had to swim back under the roof to get her children out. By the time she made it out her 2 month old was pulseless & not breathing.

One of her older children did CPR & got the baby back. Luckily they were rescued shortly after this incident & brought to a shelter in New Orleans. The medics at the shelter told her she & the baby needed to go to a hospital but her other 4 children weren't allowed to go. So she wasn't going to leave, they then told her they'd come back & get the others.

They never did… I stayed on the phone at work on Wednesday with American Red Cross & Coast Guard for hours trying to find her little ones & no one could help me. It was a very sad situation. She finally located her children late Friday afternoon in Dallas, Texas!

She's in Baton Rouge with no money & only the clothes on her back. This is just one of the sad stories that we heard. At least her children are alive I guess, while lots of people lost their loved ones.

I was involved in the triage process when the children arrived on Wednesday night & it made me very proud to see all the nurses working together to get these children the healthcare they needed. We received many sick babies & they arrived in personal vehicles & not ambulances.

The parents didn’t want to wait any longer for transportation. One little boy really touched my heart. When we were sending him up to his room he wanted to give every nurse a big hug, just so sweet. He was also so excited to see a glass of ice - remember there had been no water or electricity since Monday - really sad.

After working 16 hours on Wednesday, on the way home I just cried, so many people suffering because there just isn’t enough help. I then get home, turn the TV on & see nurses & doctors made to sit on the side of the road waiting leave on a bus & not knowing when they will be out of there. (The health professionals weren't allowed to leave with the patients that were evacuated.)

I find this very disturbing. I've seen & heard a lot these last few days & the people we treated have seen a whole lot more than me. Out of all the parents & children we received, they were all very nice & just grateful to be somewhere that was a little safer. No one was ready or could have been ready for this type of devastation. I do hope that I never have to see another disaster like this one again

why we feel disturbed....

Terrorist Attacks & Children

A National Center for PTSD Fact Sheet; By Jessica Hamblen, Ph.D.

When terrorist attacks occur in this country, our children may witness these events by watching TV, hearing people talk at school, hearing people in public places discuss the events, etc.

For instance, the World Trade Center attacks & the Oklahoma City bombing received widespread attention & media coverage that many children were exposed to.

But how should we speak to our children about these events when they occur?

Should we shield them from such horrors or talk openly about them?

How can we help children make sense of a tragedy that we ourselves can't understand?

How will children react?

How can we help our children recover?  

Fortunately, there've been few terrorist attacks in the US. One consequence of this is that there's little empirical research to help us answer the above questions. Information from related events can be used to provide answers.

How do children respond to trauma?

There's a wide range of emotional & physiological reactions that children may display following disaster. From previous research, we know that more severe reactions are associated with:

• a higher degree of exposure (i.e., life threat, physical injury, witnessing death or injury, hearing screams, etc.)

• closer proximity to the disaster

• a history of prior traumas

• being female

• poor parental response 

• parental psychopathology

Findings from a study following the Oklahoma City bombing indicate that more severe reactions were related to:

• being female

• knowing someone injured or killed

• bomb-related television viewing 

• media exposure (Pfefferbaum et al., 1999; Pfefferbaum et al., 2000)  

Talk to Kids About Disturbing Events

Senseless acts of violence involving children have become all too commonplace in our society:

• school shootings

• child abductions

• accidental drownings 

• kids killing kids

And with modern technology being what it is today, parents can't realistically protect their youngsters from these broadcasts, especially with the media's endless reporting of these events.

Violent events, such as the 1999 shooting at the Jewish Community Center in California, is sure to prompt questions from young children who are exposed to the vivid accounts of a tragedy.

After seeing or hearing about a traumatic episode involving other kids, children usually have 2 feelings:

• fear

• vulnerability

They fear that the event will happen again & they become vulnerable that a similar event will happen to them.

How to help children cope with what they've seen or heard is a big challenge for parents. Some adults want to keep their youngster's childhood a period of carefree innocence & avoid discussing these issues.

But not talking to children about the violence they hear about or actually see first-hand, denies them the opportunity to figure out what it means, especially in a society where extreme violence has become the norm.

Yet, there's hope. Even in these violent times, there are ways parents can help their children cope with what they see or hear in the media. In Remote Control Childhood? Combating the Hazards of Media Culture, author Diane E. Levin provides useful strategies for parents.

• Allow children to express their feelings about what has happened. Parents should share their feelings with their kids.

• Trusted adults play a vital role in helping children sort out what they've heard & need to figure out. Let children know it's OK to raise these kinds of issues with you.

• Reassure youngsters they're safe & they're loved. Children often relate scary things to themselves & worry about their own safety. This kind of reassurance is what a child needs most to hear.

• To a child younger than 8, try saying something like: "I know you feel a little scared by what you saw on the news, but you'll be fine. This can't happen to you because I'm here to protect you & take care of you just like always."

• An older child of 10 or 11 might be comforted by a few additional details: "Dad & I aren't the only ones who are watching over you. Adults in your community like neighbors, & the police & teachers are all looking out for your safety ."

• Children feel better when they talk about their concerns. It lifts the burden many kids have of facing their fears all alone. When parents sense that a violent event (whether real or fictional) has upset their child, parents might say something like, "That TV program we saw seemed very scary to me. What did you think about it?" & see where the conversation leads.

• Children respond instinctively to honesty. When parents are honest, children are more likely to respond in kind. However, first try to find out as much as you can about what your child knows & understands about the particular episode.

• Base your response on what you find out. This means delivering the truth, but only as much truth as the child is interested in.

• Follow the child's lead, giving small pieces of information at a time & seeing how the child responds before deciding what to say next.

• Remember the importance of touch. A hug can reassure children that they're loved.

• Watch the news with your child to filter stories as they see them. Get in the habit of discussing current events, both good & bad, on a daily basis. This way, when a disturbing event comes up, parents have a forum for talking about it.

• Talk with teachers, baby-sitters, daycare providers & others who may be with children so they understand how the child has been affected.

• Watch for signs of repetitive play in which children re-enact all or part of the disaster.

• Reassure children that their feelings are normal in response to viewing a traumatic event.

• Turn off the TV!

It's important for parents to talk to their child about what their youngster has seen or heard in the media. This allows parents the opportunity to lessen the negative effects of the news while providing the youngster with parental ideas & values.

While children can't be completely protected from the reporting of violent news events, parents can help make them feel safer & less vulnerable to the many problems in the world around them.

For more information about Talking with Kids about Tough issues, go to http://www.talkingwithkids.org/, the national initiative by Children Now and the Kaiser Famiily Foundation.

Answer:
All thoughts that disturb our mental peace are from our ‘false/ego self’ & they do their job real well… their function is to disturb us!  ;-)   The initial thought isn't in our control, it comes to us without any effort on our part. 

Our effort is in not letting that thought continue to spiral us downward, i.e., not getting ourselves engaged in it. 

The victim or ‘poor me’ aspect of self likes to feel sorry for itself. It triggers thoughts & feelings that make us look at our situation & focus on the negatives. If we allow ourselves to feed on it, this negative pattern picks up momentum & goes on & on….

Pretty soon it makes one feel that life is nothing but negative & awful.  This is also known as ‘awfulizing’.

Suggestions

1. Examine your own self…Do you harbor negative feelings toward your self, your co-wife or your situation?

This isn't for the purpose of beating yourself up, but for your own awareness, so you can work on the underlying feelings that trigger these thoughts. 

Usually these are tied to self-esteem issues.

• Do you compare yourself to her?
• Does she have to be ‘bad’ to make you feel good about yourself?

These are your issues that you'd need to work on.

A believer is like a mirror to another. My guess is some issues are being brought to the forefront that have been a struggle for you in other situations also.

The outward situation may be different but the underlying issues aren't new. So take a deep look at your inner self.  We're put in certain situations in life that'll help us grow & evolve in aspects of ourselves. Life is about self-growth & self-improvement.

Regards
Uzma Mazhar

Dealing with Disturbing Insights

Just the other day I revisited a book which was a big seller a few years back. You might remember it. 'Passages', by Gail Sheehy. At the age of 35 she was confronted with a horrific scene which jolted her very existence & caused her to feel the urgency of life.

She was covering a story in Northern Ireland & saw a young man shot down in front of her.

She suddenly came face to face with her own mortality. But in reality she began to live. Her inner vision had changed & she saw life in a new way.

All of us like, Gail Sheehy, are faced from time to time w/a barrage of questions about ultimate purposes, meaning & values. The urgency of our own life can suddenly grip us & we feel this deep need to search for meaning.

Young Children (1-6 years)

• Helplessness & passivity; lack of usual responsiveness

• Generalized fear

• Heightened arousal & confusion

• Cognitive confusion

• Difficulty talking about event; lack of verbalization

• Difficulty identifying feelings

• Nightmares & other sleep disturbances

• Separation fears & clinging to caregivers

• Regressive symptoms (e.g., bedwetting, loss of acquired speech & motor skills)

• Inability to understand death as permanent

• Anxieties about death

• Grief related to abandonment by caregiver

• Somatic symptoms (e.g., stomach aches, headaches)

• Startle response to loud or unusual noises

• "Freezing" (sudden immobility of body)

• Fussiness, uncharacteristic crying & neediness

• Avoidance of or alarm response to specific trauma-related reminders involving sights & physical sensations

School-aged Children (6-11 years)

• Feelings of responsibility & guilt

• Repetitious traumatic play & retelling

• Feeling disturbed by reminders of the event

• Nightmares & other sleep disturbances

• Concerns about safety & preoccupation with danger

• Aggressive behavior & angry outbursts

• Fear of feelings & trauma reactions

• Close attention to parents' anxieties

• School avoidance

• Worry & concern for others

• Changes in behavior, mood & personality

• Somatic symptoms (complaints about bodily aches & pains)

• Obvious anxiety & fearfulness

• Withdrawal

• Specific trauma-related fears; general fearfulness

• Regression (behaving like a younger child)

• Separation anxiety

• Loss of interest in activities

• Confusion & inadequate understanding of traumatic events (more evident in play than in discussion)

• Unclear understanding of death & the causes of "bad" events

• Giving magical explanations to fill in gaps in understanding

• Loss of ability to concentrate at school, with lowering of performance

• "Spacey" or distractible behavior

Pre-adolescents & Adolescents (12-18 years)

• Self-consciousness

• Life-threatening reenactment

• Rebellion at home or school

• Abrupt shift in relationships

• Depression & social withdrawal

• Decline in school performance

• Trauma-driven acting out, such as with sexual activity & reckless risk taking

• Effort to distance oneself from feelings of shame, guilt & humiliation

• Excessive activity & involvement with others, or retreat from others in order to manage inner turmoil

• Accident proneness

• Wish for revenge & action-oriented responses to trauma

• Increased self-focusing & withdrawal

• Sleep & eating disturbances, including nightmares

How should you talk to your child?

Create a safe environment. One of the most important steps you can take is to help children feel safe. If possible, children should be placed in a familiar environment with people that they feel close to.

Keep your child's routine as regular as possible. Children find comfort in having things be consistent & familiar.

Provide children with reassurance & extra emotional support. Adults need to create an environment in which children feel safe enough to:

• ask questions
• express feelings
• just be by themselves

Let your children know they can ask questions. Ask your children what they've heard & how they feel about it. Reassure your child that they're safe & that you will not abandon them.

Be honest with children about what happened. Provide accurate information, but make sure it's appropriate to their developmental level.

Very young children may be protected because they aren't old enough to be aware that something bad has happened. School age children will need help understanding what has happened.

You might want to tell them that there's been a terrible accident & that many people have been hurt or killed. Adolescents will have a better idea of what has occurred. It may be appropriate to watch selected news coverage with your adolescent & then discuss it.

Tell children what the government is doing. Reassure children that the state & federal government, police, firemen & hospitals are doing everything possible.

Explain that people from all over the country & from other countries offer their services in times of need.

Try to put the event in perspective. Although you yourself may be anxious or scared, children need to know that attacks are rare events. They also need to know that the world is generally a safe place.

What can parents do?

(Excerpted from Monahon, 1997)

Infancy to two & a half years:

• Maintain child's routines around sleeping & eating.

• Avoid unnecessary separations from important caretakers.

• Provide additional soothing activities.

• Maintain calm atmosphere in child's presence.

• Avoid exposing child to reminders of trauma.

• Expect child's temporary regression; don't panic.

• Help verbal child to give simple names to big feelings; talk about event in simple terms during brief chats.