Low Birth Weight Linked To Psychological Distress In Adulthood

Low birth weight is associated with adult psychological distress, according to a new study published in the July/05 issue of the British Journal of Psychiatry.

The research found that children born full term but weighing less than 5.5 lbs (almost 3% of the total sample) had a 50% increased risk of psychological distress in later life. This remained the case after taking into account potential confounding factors, such as the father's social class, maternal age and adult marital status.

Until now it has been unclear whether the effect of low birth weight on common mental health problems in later life is direct, or is affected by childhood factors, such as IQ or behavioural problems.

Dr Nicola Wiles, from Bristol University and lead author on the study, commented:

"The findings suggest that low birth weight at full term has a direct effect on adult mental health, rather than simply reflecting a pathway through childhood cognition and/or behavior. This is an interesting finding that requires replication in other studies but suggests that early factors, before birth, might be important in increasing vulnerability to depression in adult life".  

This study used information on 5572 participants in the Aberdeen Children of the 1950's study for which data collection was funded by the Medical Research Council. The researchers from the Univ. of Bristol and the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine examined the association between birth weight for gestational age and later adult psychological problems, taking into account cognition and behavioral problems in childhood.

No increase in risk was found in those of low birth weight who were born early, before 38 weeks. Similarly, pre-term delivery wasn't associated with an increased risk of psychological distress in adulthood.

As found in previous studies, low birth weight was associated with an increased risk of cognitive deficit (having an IQ of less than 100) at the age of 7 and with childhood behavioral disorder. This effect was observed among those born early as well as those born at term.

IQ of less than 100 at age 7 was associated with an increased risk of psychological distress in adulthood. But taking into account IQ and behavioral factors didn't alter the strength of the association between low birth weight at full term and adult psychological distress.

Low birth weight for gestational age is a marker for impaired foetal growth. The observed association with adult psychological distress provides further evidence for the theory that common mental health problems in adulthood may be due to impaired neuro-development, as has been suggested in schizophrenia.

Further work is needed to explore the biological mechanism underlying this relationship.

Dealing with Distressed Students: (does that describe you?)

Being aware of distress signals, methods of intervention and sources of help for the student can help you feel more in control of situations that may arise.

Distress Signals:

Listed below are some of the more prevalent signs of someone in distress. This list is intended to provide basic information only.

Depression: While we may all feel depressed from time to time, "normal" depressions may consist of only 1 or 2 symptoms and usually pass within days.

Clinically depressed students will exhibit multiple symptoms for a longer period of time. Some of these symptoms are:

• sleep disturbances
• poor concentration
• change in appetite
• loss of interest in pleasurable activities
• withdrawl
• poor hygiene
• loss of self esteem
• preoccupation with death

Referring Distressed Students
University of California, Santa Barbara

The Anxious Student

Anxiety disorders are the most common psychiatric conditions in the US, affecting more than 23 million people. Anxiety disorders are grouped into 12 distinct diagnostic categories, among which are:

• Generalized anxiety

• Social anxiety

• Panic disorder

• Obsessive compulsive disorder

• Post-traumatic stress disorder

• Phobias

Some features of anxiety that may be noted in students who are struggling with anxiety are:

• Intense tension or fear when there's no danger

• Feelings of losing control 

• A sense of doom

• Confusion

• Ruminations

• Excessive worry

• Irrational thoughts

• Catastrophic thinking

• Avoidance behavior

• Hyper vigilance

• Physical agitation

• Inability to sleep and eat properly

Students present with a wide range of anxious conditions. Some may have a generalized anxiety, which can impact their ability to perform academically by affecting:

• Concentration

• Memory

• The processing of information

• The ability to recall information

• The ability to comprehend

Others may struggle with a specific type, such as performance anxiety, that can affect an oral presentation, or test taking anxiety, that impacts the ability to perform on a test.

Research suggests that when treating persons with high levels of anxiety, the most effective treatment is the combination of psychotherapy and psychotropic medication. When you encounter a student who you suspect is struggling with an anxious condition:

DO:

1. Talk to the student in private, when possible.

2. Remain calm.

3. Assume control over the situation in a soothing manner.

4. Focus on the relevant information.

5. Respectfully help the student focus on items that can be addressed.

6. Speak in an explicit, concrete and concise manner.

7. Assist the student in developing an action plan that addresses the most pressing concern.

8. Refer the student to a Counseling and Career Service 

DON'T:

1. Make solutions complicated.

2. Overwhelm the student with information.

3. Argue with irrational thoughts or catastrophic thinking.

4. Crowd the physical personal space.

5. Try to solve all problems presented.

6. Devalue the information presented.

7. Assume the family knows about the student's anxiety.

8. Assume the student will get over his/her anxiety without treatment.  

The Depressed Student

Depression is a pervasive problem in our society.

It affects 17 million Americans each year and doesn't discriminate demographically.

Depression differs from feeling sad or struggling with life events. Depression has specific symptoms of significant duration and severity. The most common features of depression are the subjective experience of feeling:

• Empty

• Hopeless

• Helpless

• Worthless 

• Unloved

• A deep sense of sadness 

• Emotional pain

• The inability to experience pleasure in many activities

• Irregular sleep and eating patterns

• Difficulty concentrating, retaining information and making decisions

• Fatigue 

• Social isolation

Some depressed students experience:

• Agitation

• Anxiety

• Intense anger

Some have:

• Recurrent thoughts of destruction 

• Preoccupation with death

Some desire to escape the pain through suicide.

Fortunately, depression responds to treatment and 80 - 90% of those treated show improvement.

Research supports the use of both medication and psychotherapy for the most effective treatment of major depression. When dealing with a depressed student:

DO:

1. When possible, see the student in private.
2. Validate the student's feelings and experience.
3. Listen to the information the student is sharing.
4. Be supportive and express your concerns about the situation.
5. Be directive and concise about an action plan.
6. Initiate the action plan, such as having the student call from your office for a counseling appointment.
7. Ask if the student has any thoughts of suicide.
8. Refer the student to Counseling and Career Services
9. If the student shares anything with you related to concerns about sexual harassment or gender discrimination, refer the student to the Sexual Harassment / Title IX Complaint Office
10. Be willing to consider a request for, or offer, an accommodation (e.g., extension on a paper, exam or project) if you feel it's appropriate.

DON'T:

1. Ignore the student.

2. Minimize the situation.

3. Argue with the student.

4. Provide too much information for the student to process and retain.

5. Expect the student to stop feeling depressed without some form of intervention.

6. Assume the family knows about the student's depressed.

Helping Your Child Through A Divorce

Divorce is stressful for parents and children alike. Although children's emotional reactions usually depend on their age at the time of the divorce, many children experience feelings of sadness, anger and anxiety - and it's not uncommon for these feelings to be expressed in their behavior.

Often, the child's emotional reaction can be quite different than the parent's and it's important to understand these differences; i.e., a parent may feel a sense of relief that a difficult period is coming to some resolution, whereas the child may feel a sense of loss.

Fortunately, there are things you can do to help your child during a divorce. By minimizing the stress the situation creates and responding openly and honestly to your child's concerns, you can help your child through this difficult time.

Telling Your Child About Divorce

As soon as you're certain of your plans, talk to your child about your decision to divorce. Although there's no easy way to break the news, both parents should be present when a child is told and feelings of anger, guilt, or blame should be left out of the conversation. At best, this is a difficult message to communicate, but if you handle it sensitively, you can help make it less painful for your child.  

Although the discussion about divorce should be tailored to your child's age and development, all children should receive the same basic message:

"Mommy and Daddy used to love each other and were happy, but now we're not happy and have decided we'd be happier apart. What happened occurred between us, but we'll always be your parents and we'll always be there to love and take care of you."

It's important to emphasize that your child is in no way to blame for the breakup and that the unhappiness isn't related to him or her. Children tend to blame themselves for the failure of their parents' marriages and they need to be reminded frequently that it's not their fault.

Finally, your child may question whether your love for him or her is temporary (because it was with your spouse); reassure your child that even though you're getting a divorce, you love him or her permanently and unconditionally.

When it comes to answering questions about your divorce, it's important to give kids enough information so that they're prepared for the upcoming changes in their lives but not so much that it frightens them. Try to keep your feelings neutral and answer your child's questions in an age-appropriate way and as truthfully as possible.

Remember that kids don't need to know all the details; they just need to know enough to understand clearly that although divorce means separating from a spouse, it doesn't mean parents are divorcing their kids.

Not all children react the same way when told their parents are divorcing. Some ask questions, some cry and some have no initial response at all. For kids who seem upset when you break the news, it's important for parents to let them know that they recognize and care about their feelings and to reassure them that it's OK to cry.

For example, you might say, "I know this is upsetting for you and I can understand why," or "We both love you and are so sorry that our problems are causing you to feel this way." If your child doesn't have an emotional reaction right away, let him or her know that there will be other times to talk.

Most children are concerned with how the divorce will affect them:

·         Who will I live with?

·         Will I move?

·       Where will Mommy live or where will Daddy live?

·         Will I go to a new school?

·        Will I still get to see my friends?

·         Can I still go to camp this summer?

Be honest when addressing your child's concerns and remind him or her that the family will get through this, even though it may take some time.

Reducing Your Child's Stress

Divorce brings with it a lot of changes and a very real sense of loss. Kids - and parents - grieve the loss of the kind of family they had hoped for and children especially grieve the loss of the presence of a parent.

That's why some kids - even after the finality of divorce has been explained to them - still hold out hope that their parents will someday get back together. Mourning the loss of a family is normal, but over time both you and your child will come to some sort of acceptance of the changed circumstances.

So, how can you decrease the stress your child feels over the changes brought on by divorce? Mainly by learning to respond to his or her expressions of emotion.

Here are some ways divorcing parents can help their children:

·      Invite conversation. Children need to know that their feelings are important to their parents and that they'll be taken seriously.

• Help them put their feelings into words. Children's behavior can often clue you in to their feelings of sadness or anger.

Let them voice their emotions and help them to label them, without trying to change their emotions or explain them away.

 

You might say: "It seems as if you're feeling sad right now. Do you know what's making you feel so sad?"

 

Be a good listener when they respond, even if it's hard for you to hear.

• Legitimize their feelings. Saying things like, "No wonder you feel sad" or "I know it feels like the hurt may never go away, but it will" lets kids know that their feelings are valid. It's important to encourage children to get it all out before you start offering ways to make it better.

• Offer support. Ask, "What do you think will help you feel better?" They might not be able to name something, but you can suggest a few ideas - maybe just to sit together for a while, take a walk, or hold a favorite stuffed animal. Younger kids might especially appreciate an offer to call Daddy on the phone or to make a picture to give to Mommy when she comes at the end of the day.

Expect that your child's adjustment could take a while. Some emotional and behavioral reactions to the stress of divorce last for months or even a year. Some may be much more temporary, lasting only until the situation stabilizes and a child's routine can be re-established.

It's also important to remember that these responses don't necessarily indicate permanent problems. Much of the time, kids' emotional concerns following divorce are temporary if handled with sensitivity. But sometimes, children have a longer response. Being attentive to the signs your child sends about his or her feelings can help you to help your child cope with them.  

Reactions to Stress
Below are some signals that represent a child's reaction to stress at various ages:

Babies & Toddlers

Children this age require consistency and routine and are comforted by familiarity. They may be distressed by unpredictable schedules, too many transitions, or abrupt separations.

Signals that an infant is feeling distressed include increased amounts of fussiness or crying and changes in eating or sleeping habits. Babies and toddlers are also sensitive to separations. They ay show signs of separation anxiety thru withdrawn, distressed, or clingy behavior.

Preschoolers & Kindergartners
Kids this age need consistent caregiving. But as children develop long-term memory and language skills, they become more self-reliant.

Signals that a child in this age group is under stress include continued worries about separation and regression to earlier behaviors, such as thumb sucking, bedwetting and problems sleeping through the night.

Fussiness and anger at you or your spouse may also occur. A child may cry frequently, engage in power struggles, regress to "baby" behaviors and have tantrums.

School-Age Children
Between 6 and 8 years, children need individual time with each parent to continue being reassured that they're loved.

Fairness becomes an important issue; your child may want to be sure both you and your spouse get the same amount of time with him or her. Children this age are also interested in issues such as who is to blame or who is at fault.

If your child expresses hope of reuniting your family, make sure he or she spends time with both of you separately to help cement the reality of the situation. Children do, however, maintain this hope of reunification for years. Although parents need to acknowledge their kids' hopes and how they're feeling, they also need to remind them of the reality of the situation.

Your child's feelings of unhappiness may be expressed as sadness, anger, or aggression. He or she may have problems with friendships or in school. Or, stress may take the form of physical problems, such as upset stomachs or headaches.

Preteens

Between 9 and 12, children become more involved with activities apart from their parents. When divorced parents reside close to one another, equal time-sharing may work, but preteens may need different schedules to accommodate their changing priorities. School, community interests and friendships become more important for children in this age range, but the impact of family remains critical.

Your child may refuse to share time with you and your spouse equally and may try to take sides. Expect this behavior and don't take it personally when it occurs. Maintain the visitation schedule and emphasize the involvement of both parents in your child's life.

Warning signs for this age group include peer difficulties, loneliness, depression, anger, or physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches and learning problems.

Role reversals - when kids feel compelled to support or care for an emotionally distraught parent at their own emotional expense - can also arise. This isn't a healthy situation for the child. Parents who recognize role reversal in their family need to find ways to get emotional support for themselves and relieve the burden from their child.

Teens

During the early teen years, kids need consistent support from both parents, but may not accept equal time-sharing of their living arrangements because it may interrupt their school and social lives. Be prepared for your child's thoughts on time-sharing.

Kids sometimes propose spending an entire summer, semester, or school year with the noncustodial parent. But this may not reflect that they want to move. In the early teens, kids do have a good sense of time and a realization that adult life is approaching. Often, a child will spend a year with the other parent and then return home. They view this as a chance to spend a lot of time with the parent they've missed. Listen to and explore these options if they're brought up.

Whatever arrangements are made, make a schedule and stick to it. Adolescents may externalize blame for the divorce to one or both parents and may become controlling by demanding to stay in one place or to switch residences constantly.

As teens get older, they become more focused on social and school activities, as well as establishing their independence; so they may become less interested in their parents' problems. But your teen still needs your support. Even though parents often get the impression that their input isn't important to adolescents, it is. Stay involved in your child's life and interests. Talking frequently with your teen is helpful.

And although teens may want to see their parents happy, children of any age may have mixed feelings about seeing their parents dating other people. They may feel that condoning parental dating would be disloyal to the other parent, but they may be happy that their parent has found someone new.

Depression, moodiness, acting out, poor performance in school, use of alcohol or other drugs, sexual activity, or chronic oppositional behavior can all signal that a teen is having trouble. Older teens may have behavior problems, exhibit depression, show poor school performance, run away from home, or get into trouble with the law. Regardless of whether such troubles are related to the divorce, they are serious problems that affect a teen's well-being and indicate the need for outside help.

Fighting in Front of Your Child

Although the occasional argument between parents is reasonable and even expected in a healthy family, living in a battleground of continual hostility and unresolved conflict can place a heavy psychological burden on your child. Traumatic events like screaming, fighting, arguing, or violence can make children fearful and apprehensive. Unable to deal with these fears, your child may become emotionally upset, controlling, or withdrawn.

Witnessing your hostility also presents an inappropriate behavioral model for your child, who's still learning how to deal with his or her own impulses. Children's long-term adjustment to divorce is highly related to ongoing hostility between parents. Kids whose parents maintain anger and hostility are much more likely to have continued emotional and behavioral difficulties.

Talking with a mediator or divorce counselor can help divorcing couples air their grievances and hurt to each other in a way that doesn't cause harm to the children. Though it may be difficult, working together in this way will spare your child the harm caused by continued bitterness and anger.

Adjusting to a New Living Situation

Because divorce can be such a big change in your child's life, adjustments in living arrangements should be handled gradually.

There are several types of living situations to consider:

·         One parent (either you or your spouse) may have custody

·         you may have joint custody (in which both you & your spouse share in the legal decisions about your child, but your child lives primarily with one of you & visits the other)

·         shared joint custody (in which decisions are shared & so is physical custody)

It's becoming increasingly common for parents who live close by to share custody of their child. There's no simple solution to this. Although some children can thrive spending half their time with each parent, others seem to need the stability of having one "home" & visiting with the other parent.

Whatever arrangement you choose, your child's needs should always come first. Avoid getting involved in a tug of war as a way to win over your former spouse. When deciding how to handle holidays, birthdays & vacations, stay focused on what's best for your child.

After the Divorce
It's important to maintain as much normalcy as possible after a divorce by keeping regular routines, including meal routines, rules of behavior & methods of discipline. Relaxing limits, especially during a time of change, tends to make children insecure. Resist the urge to drop routines & spoil a child who's grieving over a divorce. The only way a child should be spoiled is with unconditional love.

Parents should also work hard to keep their parental roles in place. Your child, no matter how much he or she tries to understand, is still a child. If you confide in your child, he or she may have difficulty relating to the other parent. This means not blaming the other parent or putting your child in the middle of an adult situation that he or she doesn't have the maturity to handle.

Consistency in routine & discipline across the households is important. Similar expectations regarding bedtimes, rules & homework will reduce anxiety & give your child the message that you & your ex-spouse are working together & can't be manipulated.

Don't be ashamed to ask for professional help. Divorce is a major life crisis for a family. But if you & your former spouse can work together, you can continue to be good parents to your child.

Here are some other recommendations to keep in mind.

·         Get help dealing with your own painful feelings about the divorce. If you're able to make a healthy adjustment, your child will be more likely to do so, too. Also, getting needed emotional support & being able to air your feelings & thoughts with an adult will lessen the possibility of your child shouldering the unfair burden of your emotional concerns. This may include trusted friends or family members or a therapist.

• Be patient with yourself & with your child. Emotional concerns, loss & hurt following divorce take time to heal & often happen in phases. That's healthy.

• Resist the temptation to make up for the child's loss with material things, food treats, or special privileges. Emotional hurt is best healed with care & support from loved ones, not things.

• Recognize the signals of stress for your child's age. Consult your child's doctor or a child therapist for guidance on how to handle specific problems you're concerned about.

Many of the elements that help children thrive & be emotionally healthy in an intact family are the same ones that help children thrive & be emotionally healthy members of a divorced family. With good support, children can & do successfully make the adjustment to divorce.

And Now, the Hard Part

That sweet little thing is about to commandeer your life. Be prepared.

By Lauren Picker

Newsweek

April 25 issue - Amber Krystallis isn't getting out much these days. She spends every waking moment at someone else's beck & call, performing a dizzying blur of tasks that never seem to satisfy her commander, much less elicit a thank you.

"He's fussy most of the time," allows the Bronxville, N. Y., fashion-industry assistant who often toils away in the middle of the night, logging only about 4 or 5 hours of sleep. Preparing to unveil a designer's latest collection?

Hardly. Krystallis is on maternity leave, caring for her infant son, Jackson & realizing that new parenthood is a kind of endless episode of "Survivor"- without the sweeping views.

Whoever came up with the Peace Corps motto "The Toughest Job You'll Ever Love" probably wasn't a parent. Most expectant couples are braced for sleep deprivation & dirty diapers. But the reality is much, much harder in ways that even the most informed new parents may find surprising.

Research shows that marriage takes a hit when baby makes 3. Gen-X parents in particular are reeling. According to a 2003 analysis of 90 studies involving 31,000 married people, the drop in marital satisfaction after the first baby's birth is a staggering 42% larger among the current generation of parents than their predecessors.

"The finding is particularly strong for women with infants," adds Jean Twenge, an assistant professor of psychology at San Diego State University & a coauthor of the review. Satisfaction dips even lower (though only slightly) with each successive child.

Studies also suggest that 1/3 to 1/2 of new-parent couples experience as much marital distress as couples already in therapy for marital difficulties. No wonder the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University concluded in its 2004 annual report,

"Children seem to be a growing impediment for the happiness of marriages." 

Part of the problem is simply the bone-grinding demands of child care, which can push a couple's relationship not just to the back burner, but clear off the stovetop. "I'm so burned out at the end of the day that I have nothing left for my husband. All I want to do is get in my bed, read my book & escape," confesses Amelia Gerlin, a Shelbourne, Vt., at-home mother of 2 children.

Tensions like these have probably been around since Neanderthal parents grunted at each other. But for the current generation of new parents - who tend to be older & already juggling careers - the hurdles are higher because the expectations are, too. It's - not enough to raise a nice kid; she's got to be ahead of the developmental curve & involved in arts & athletic activities, too (while fueled only by nutritious, organic snacks, of course).

The couples' individual roles change as well. She becomes a diaper-changing lactation machine; he feels pressured to earn big bucks. "A new baby often trips couples back into stereotypical roles & gender expectations of each other. It's a very hard thing to resist," says Barbara Risman, co-chair of the Council on Contemporary Families in New York. While the expectation is for fathers to be more involved than ever (& many are), it's still mom who does most of the work.

"I'm definitely taking the June Cleaver role," allows Mara Barth, who left her job as a travel consultant 6 weeks before the birth of her son, Sam, in October. Though her husband knows his way around a Pamper, she tends to change most of the diapers; she also makes sure the pantry is stocked & dinner is on the table (even if it means ordering in). Barth has no complaints. But a University of California, Berkeley, study that tracked 100 couples from first pregnancy thru the child's transition to kindergarten found that the No. 1 source of conflict in the first 3 years of parenthood is the division of labor.

The couples had expected a more 50-50 arrangement than they ended up with, explains psychologist Carolyn Pape Cowan, who, with her husband, documented these findings in "When Partners Become Parents: The Big Life Change for Couples." The Cowans also found that when the dad doesn't step up, mom is more likely to report symptoms of depression. "That's not a good recipe for parenting or for the couple's relationship," says Cowan.

What's a parent to do? Drawing on data from a 13-year study, Seattle-based psychologist & marriage expert John Gottman found that couples who are most likely to remain happy after becoming parents are those in which the husband admires his wife, keeps romance alive & understands his wife's inner life. (It helps if the woman reciprocates but, according to Gottman, it's hubby's behavior that makes the difference.)

Gottman also encourages couples to communicate with kindness. Instead of screaming, "You lazy s.o.b.! Do I have to do everything?" take a deep breath, lose the edge in your tone & say, "I know you're sleep-deprived, too. But will you please put the dishes away?" And to preserve intimacy, Gottman urges parents to go out on regular dates - without the wee ones.  

Of course, parents aren't the only ones who struggle with the arrival of a new baby. Many older siblings don't exactly feel the love. "It's very hard to share someone you love," explains Nancy Samalin, author of "Loving Each One Best," a book about raising siblings. James Srebnick would surely agree. His parents tried to prepare the toddler for the arrival of his little brother last fall; they talked about what it would be like & read books about becoming a big brother.

James was onboard, happily kissing his mommy's belly as the pregnancy progressed. Then Andrew arrived. "He freaked," recalls Jessica Goldman Srebnick, a hospitality-industry executive in Miami Beach, Fla. Sometimes James would even try to hit the baby. With plenty of one-on-one time with both of his parents, James rallied. "Now, when he wakes up in the morning, he says, 'Where's A.J.?' He'll go see the baby & say, 'Good morning, buddy,' which makes my heart sing," notes Srebnick.

Some family members' hearts are singing from the get-go. You can pretty much count on grandma & grandpa to be smitten with the new generation. And unless grandparents weigh in a little too often with unsolicited advice or direction, the arrival of grandchildren can draw a couple closer to their own family of origin, as well as to in-laws with whom they now share a history & a future.

"It's been really great for my relationship with my parents. I struggled with them in days gone by but now, with the kids, they adore them & they help me quite a bit," says Amelia Gerlin, who lives near her parents. Grandparents can make great pinch-sitters - a lifeline to stressed-out parents.

Pity those who don't have it. "It would be easy if we had parents or family in town," says Toby Page, an airline -industry buyer in Frisco, Texas. He & his wife ultimately decided that it made sense for Kimberly to quit her job to stay home with baby Austin.  

Like Kimberly Page, about 1/3 of women leave the work force after starting a family; another 1/3 dial back to part-time hours. It's a decision with which many struggle & either choice brings its own stresses. Working parents must juggle their professional demands with their family's needs; couples who give up one income often grapple with financial worries.

After all, those little bundles of joy cost a bundle of green. According to Baby Bargains, a popular, money-saving guide for new & expectant parents, providing a baby with the basics comes in at $6,200. And that just covers the first year. The U.S. Department of Agriculture estimates that it costs middle-class Americans $178,590 to raise a child to age 18, a staggering amount that doesn't even include college.

But you can't put a price tag on the incalculable joys of parenthood. While a baby will upend your life as you know it, the new arrival can also enrich your existence in ways you couldn't imagine, in the process transforming a marriage into a family.

"Both [my husband] & I keep saying it's just amazing how much you can love this little person," marvels Amber Krystallis. "When he wakes me up in the middle of the night, I'm still happy to see him." How many people in your life can you say that about?

© 2005 Newsweek, Inc