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deceived
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defensive
defiant
degraded
dejected
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depressed
deprived
desired
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desperation / desperate
truly desperate
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determined
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devoted
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discouraged
disgusted
dishonest
disillusioned
dismal
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dissatisfied
distanced - distant
distracted
disturbed
distressed
doubtful - doubted
dysfunctional

 
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 It's very important that you visit the next page: keeping in touch!
 
Reason being: If you're here because you're searching for an answer to your feelings of dissatisfaction, unhappiness, feeling sick, or just general feelings of misery in your life - you need to find a volunteer opportunity that you feel comfortable with.
 
For a life changing listen - click here - it's truly life changing and something we all need to listen to. It does take some time to listen to Randy Pausch's Last Lecture, but you won't regret it.
 
You can help yourself by helping others. You might not think so; but it's true. Find something you can do to help some worthy causes. "Keeping in Touch" will show you some important causes that need you!
 
Why not just click here now to get it over with! So even if you leave this site after finding some information concerning an emotion or feeling... you'll also leave with the seed of thought concerning volunteer work that might produce some results bringing you a sense of accomplishment & find yourself feeling better!

remembering september eleventh
forever free: remembering september eleventh
always & forever

Your Dictionary Definition of:
 
de·fi·ant
   adj.
Marked by defiance; boldly resisting.
boldly resisting authority or an opposing force; "brought up to be aggressive & defiant"; "a defiant attitude"

for a personal touch or to simply reach out to someone in hopes of making a connection!

click here to send me an e-mail!

"Wars preventive, upon just fears, are true defensives."

 

Bacon

Defensiveness

 
Although it's natural to want to protect yourself against personal attacks, try to not respond defensively or to try & get even. It's ok to feel hurt, but it isn't ok to criticize or to react in anger. It takes a decision to listen & not over-react. Listening can strengthen the intimacy in your marriage.

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welcome! to emotional feelings, 4!

 

after looking things over here at emotional feelings, 4, try out "the layer down under," (part of the emotional feelings network of sites) & read a special "i just gotta say it" column concerning porn addiction by clicking here! Be sure to scroll down towards the bottom of the right hand column to find it!
 
just another great suggestion... visit the homepage! you can read more about the emotional feelings network of sites there, as well as, a heads up about who is feeling what emotions within the network each month!

click on the box below to read my monthly column!

click here to read it now!

 
click here!  Bob Woodruff: Turning Personal Injury Into Public Inquiry click here!
 
I was personally very touched by this inspiring story as I watched it on television last night (2/27/07); especially after I experienced a life altering injury which took me 2 years to recover from.
 
What I want to ask you is...
If you can't help out with the helmets, below for our military men, can you volunteer or help our returning soldiers who are recovering with extreme traumatic brain injury?
 
Here are some links!
Check them out, I know that my family will be searching for a way we can help! Remember that those with traumatic injuries might develop mental health problems.
 
 
 

What is Operation Helmet?

Founded in 2003 by Dr. Robert H. Meaders whose grandson is an active duty Marine in Iraq, Operation Helmet is a nonpartisan 501(c)(3) organization dedicated to providing safer helmet pad upgrade kits to the troops in Iraq & Afghanistan. To date, more than 6,000 kits have been shipped to the troops in the field.

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How this site works best for you!
 
You'll notice that there are many underlined link words in each article below. The reason for this is that you have reached not only, "emotional feelings, 4," but the emotional feelings network of sites. There are many sites included within the network that'll be visited by clicking on these underlined link words.
 
The reason for this opportunity is very simple & yet you may be unnerved by all those underlined words! I've been in recovery from post traumatic stress disorder, depression & many other dysfunctional ventures & thru it all I've discovered that emotion & feeling work may be the missing link that many people miss when trying to find solutions to their problems.
 
Developing a sense of curiosity about why you feel the way you do, is essential in finding the solution you so desperately are searching for.
 
If you can't find what you came here looking for, visit the homepage for the emotional feelings network of sites by clicking above & read the options on the homepage for the networks index of sites. Try to be specific when looking for an emotion or feeling word & click on the site you need!
 
It's very simple & very interesting to follow your way thru the layers of your buried or stuffed emotions & feelings that have accumulated throughout the years!
 
when you've reached this point, or this website, you know you're making progress!!!! this part gets difficult because now is the time to look within & become emotionally honest with yourself!!!
 
Best of luck & if you're still stuck, send me an e-mail anytime, by clicking here & I'll be glad to send you an immediate personal response!
 
Sincerely,
Kathleen

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Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Last Updated: March 30, 2006
 
Synonyms & related keywords: ODD, conduct disorder, disruptive behavior, defiant behavior, negativistic behavior, hostile behavior, disobedience, stubbornness, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, ADHD, irritability, impulsivity, harshly punitive behaviors, peer rejection, noncompliance with commands, overreaction to life events, antisocial actions, learning disorders, parent management training, maladaptive parent-child interactions
 
 

Defining Oppositional Defieant Disorder
 
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, Fourth Edition, (DSM IV) of the American Psychiatric Association defines oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) as a recurrent pattern of:

behavior toward authority figures that persists for at least 6 months.

Behaviors included in the definition include the following:

  • losing one's temper
  • arguing with adults
  • actively defying requests
  • refusing to follow rules
  • deliberately annoying other people
  • blaming others for one's own mistakes or misbehavior
  • being touchy
  • easily annoyed or angered
  • resentful
  • spiteful
  • vindictive

ODD is usually diagnosed when a child has a persistent or consistent pattern of disobedience & hostility toward parents, teachers, or other adults.

The primary behavioral difficulty is the consistent pattern of refusing to follow commands or requests by adults.

Children with ODD are often:

  • easily annoyed
  • they repeatedly lose their temper
  • argue with adults
  • refuse to comply with rules & directions
  • blame others for their mistakes
  • stubbornness 
  • testing limits is common, even in early childhood

The criteria for ODD are met only when the problem behaviors occur more frequently in the child than in other children of the same age & developmental level.

These behaviors cause significant difficulties with family & friends & the oppositional behaviors are the same both at home & in school. Sometimes, ODD may be a precursor of a conduct disorder. ODD isn't diagnosed if the problematic behaviors occur exclusively with a mood or psychotic disorder.

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Prevelance & Comorbidity
 
The base prevalence rates for ODD are estimated to be 6-10% in surveys of nonclinical, nonreferred samples of parents' reports.
 
In more stringent population samples, rates are lower when impairment criteria are stricter & when the information is obtained from both parents & teachers, rather than from parents only.
 
Before puberty, the condition is more common in boys; after puberty, rates are nearly equal in boys & girls. ODD & other conduct problems, is the single greatest reason for referrals to outpatient & inpatient mental health settings for children, accounting for 1/2 or more of all referrals.

Diagnosis is complicated by relatively high rates of comorbid, disruptive, behavior disorders.

Some symptoms of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) & conduct disorder overlap. Researchers have postulated that, in some children, ODD may be the developmental precursor of conduct disorder.

Comorbidity of ODD with ADHD has been reported to occur in 50-65% of affected children.

In some children, ODD commonly occurs in conjunction with anxiety disorders & depressive disorders. Cross-sectional surveys have revealed the comorbidity of ODD with an affective disorder (mood disorder, such as depression) in about 35% of cases, with rates of comorbidity increasing with patient age.

High rates of comorbidity are also found among ODDs:

  • learning disorders
  • academic difficulties

Given these findings, children with significant oppositional & defiant behaviors often require multidisciplinary assessment & they may need components of mental health care, case management & educational intervention to improve.

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Clinical Course
 
In toddlers, temperamental factors, such as:

may contribute to the development of a pattern of oppositional & defiant behaviors in later childhood.

Family instability, including:

  • economic stress
  • parental mental illness - some info concerning this at teenscene - the facts page!
  • harshly punitive behaviors
  • inconsistent parenting practices
  • multiple moves
  • divorce

may also contribute to the development of oppositional & defiant behaviors.

The interactions of a child who has a difficult temperament & irritable behavior with parents who are harsh, punitive & inconsistent usually lead to a coercive, negative cycle of behavior in the family.

In this pattern, the child's defiant behavior tends to intensify the parents' harsh reactions. The parents respond to misbehavior with threats of punishment that are inconsistently applied.

When the parent punishes the child, the child learns to respond to threats. When the parent fails to punish the child, the child learns that he or she doesn't have to comply.

Research indicates that these patterns are established early, in the child's preschool years; left untreated, pattern development accelerates & patterns worsen.

Developmentally, the presenting problems change with the child's age; i.e., younger children are more likely to engage in oppositional & defiant behavior, whereas older children are more likely to engage in more covert behavior such as stealing.

By the time they're school aged, children with patterns of oppositional behavior tend to express their defiance with teachers & other adults & they exhibit aggression toward their peers.

As children with ODD progress in school, they experience increasing peer rejection due to their poor social skills & aggression. These children may be more likely to misinterpret their peers' behavior as hostile & they lack the skills to solve social conflicts.

In problem situations, children with ODD are more likely to resort to aggressive physical actions rather than verbal responses. Children with ODD & poor social skills often don't recognize their role in peer conflicts; they blame their peers (e.g., "He made me hit him.") & usually fail to take responsibility for their own actions.

The following 3 classes of behavior are hallmarks of both oppositional & conduct problems:

(1) noncompliance with commands

(2) emotional overreaction to life events, no matter how small

(3) failure to take responsibility for one's own actions.

When behavioral difficulties are present beginning in the preschool period, teachers & families may overlook significant deficiencies in the child's learning & academic performance.

When many children with behavioral problems & academic problems are placed in the same classroom, the risk for continued behavioral & academic problems increases. ODD behavior may escalate & result in serious antisocial actions that, when sufficiently frequent & severe, become criteria to change the diagnosis to conduct disorder.

Milder forms of ODD in some children spontaneously remit over time. More severe forms of ODD, in which many symptoms are present in the toddler years & continually worsen after the child is aged 5 years, may evolve into conduct disorder in older children & adolescents.

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Treatment
 
Given the high probability that ODD is a comorbid condition with:
  • attention disorders
  • learning disorders 
  • conduct disturbances

an evaluation for these disorders is indicated for comprehensive treatment.

Pharmacologic treatment (e.g., stimulant medication) for ADHD may be beneficial once this is diagnosed.

Children with oppositional behavior in the school setting should undergo necessary screening testing in school to evaluate for possible learning disabilities.

With the multifaceted nature of associated problems in ODD, comprehensive treatment may include:

If children with ODD are found to have ADHD as well, appropriate treatment of ADHD may help them to restore their focus & attention & decrease their impulsivity; such treatment may enable their social & behavioral interventions to be more effective.

Parent management training (PMT) is recommended for families of children with ODD because it'as been demonstrated to affect negative interactions that repeatedly occur between the children & their parents.

PMT consists of procedures with which parents are trained to change their own behaviors & thereby alter their child's problem behavior in the home.

PMT is based on 35 years of well-developed research showing that oppositional & defiant patterns arise from maladaptive parent-child interactions that start in early childhood.These patterns develop when parents inadvertently reinforce disruptive & deviant behaviors in a child by giving those behaviors a significant amount of negative attention.

At the same time, the parents, who are often exhausted by the struggle to obtain compliance with simple requests, usually fail to provide positive attention; often, the parents have infrequent positive interactions with their children.

The pattern of negative interactions evolves quickly as the result of repeated, ineffective, emotionally expressed commands & comments; ineffective harsh punishments; & insufficient attention & modeling of appropriate behaviors.

PMT alters the pattern by encouraging the parent to pay attention to prosocial behavior & to use effective, brief, nonaversive punishments.

Treatment is conducted primarily with the parents; the therapist demonstrates specific procedures to modify parental interactions with their child. Parents are first trained to simply have periods of positive play interaction with their child.

They then receive further training to identify the child's positive behaviors & to reinforce these behaviors. At that point, parents are trained in the use of brief negative consequences for misbehavior. Treatment sessions provide the parents with opportunities to practice & refine the techniques.

Follow-up studies of operational PMT techniques in which parents successfully modified their behavior showed continued improvements for years after the treatment was finished. Treatment effects have been stronger with younger children, especially in those with less severe problems.

Recent research suggests that less severe problems, rather than a younger patient age, is predictive of treatment success.

Approximately 65% of families show significant clinical benefit from well-designed parent management programs.

Regardless of the child's age, intervention early in the developing pattern of oppositional behavior is likely to be more effective than waiting for the child to grow out of it. These children can benefit from group treatment.

The process of modeling behaviors & reactions within group settings creates a real-life adaptation process. In younger children, combined treatment in which parents attend a PMT group while the children go to a social skills group has consistently resulted in the best outcome.

Concerns exist regarding the efficacy of group treatment of adolescents with oppositional behaviors. Group therapy for adolescents with ODD is most beneficial when it is structured & focused on developing the skills of:

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Obstacles to Treatment
 
ODD & other conduct problems, can be intractable. Despite advances in treatment, many children continue to have long-term negative sequelae.
 
PMT requires parental cooperation & effort for success. Existing psychiatric conditions in the parents can be a major obstacle to effective treatment.
 
Depression in a parent, particularly the mother, can prevent successful intervention with the child & become worse if the child's behavior is out of control.
 
Substance abuse & other more severe psychiatric conditions can adversely affect parenting skills & these conditions are particularly problematic for the parents of a child with ODD.

In situations in which the parents lack the resources to effectively manage their child, services can be obtained thru the schools &/or county mental health agencies.

Many states have effective "wrap around" services, which include a full-day school program & home-based therapy services to maintain progress in the home setting. Thus, effective treatment can include resources from several agencies & coordination is critical.

If county mental health or school special education services are involved, one person is usually designated to coordinate services in those systems.

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A Child's Defiance

Taken from Growing Concerns - A childrearing question-&-answer column with Dr. Martha Erickson

 

Question: I am exhausted by my daughter's resistance to everything I ask her to do. It seems that no matter what my demands, she defiantly refuses to cooperate. I end up pleading & nagging or even yelling, which gets us nowhere. How can I break this cycle?

 

Answer: Whether it's a toddler refusing to pick up her toys, a 10 year-old talking back, or a teenager resisting household chores, a child's defiance can make a parent's hair stand on end.

 

It's easy to rise to the bait & turn even a minor challenge into a major power struggle, but that ends up being miserable for everyone. Instead, there are steps you can take to defuse a conflict & help your child learn valuable lessons about respect & cooperation.

 

The first step is to choose your battles carefully. Decide in advance on the absolute rules or limits you must enforce & which ones are negotiable; i.e., with a teenager an absolute would be that experimentation with alcohol or drugs isn't allowed.

 

But keeping the bedroom neat might not be worth the battle.
(Just close the door!)

 

Then, when you do make a request or set a limit & your daughter resists, try the following steps:

  • Acknowledge your child's feelings. When kids grumble, they often just want to be heard. So simply say something like, "Yeah, I know doing dishes isn't the most fun thing to do. It will feel good when they're all done & then you can go have some fun."
  • Stand firm on your limit or demand & do this every time the issue comes up. Once you've decided that this is an absolute, nonnegotiable expectation, you can't afford to waver. Your daughter needs to see that whining or resistance will not wear you down
  • Within those absolute limits, offer choice as much as possible; i.e., an absolute limit might be that homework will be done every evening. But you might offer choices as to exactly when & where your daughter does the work.
  • If defiance still continues, calmly state what the consequence will be if she doesn't comply within the next few minutes. (Without getting carried away by anger, make sure the consequence fits the crime.)

Then, step back & allow your daughter time to comply. When kids are resistant, too often we parents move in closer & increase the volume & intensity of our demands. Then our child matches that intensity by increasing their resistance.

 

By stepping back instead, we allow the child to save face & "choose" to cooperate.

  • If that still doesn't work, impose the promised consequence swiftly & matter-of-factly. Shouting or bombarding the child with angry words does no good at this point. She needs to see that you meant what you said.
  • Finally, once the consequence has been imposed, move on without bearing a grudge. Let your clearly stated expectations & carefully chosen consequences speak for themselves. And let your daughter see that she can start fresh the next time.

Know that all children are defiant at times. And at certain ages, especially during the toddler period & early adolescence, defiance is especially common as kids struggle to prove their independence.

 

However, professional help is in order if defiance is very intense, lasts for many months, cuts across all situations & interferes with a child's ability to have warm, supportive relationships with family, teachers or friends.

 

Editor's Note: Dr. Martha Farrell Erickson, director of the University of Minnesota's Children, Youth & Family Consortium, invites your questions on child rearing for possible inclusion in this column. E-mail to mferick@tc.umn.edu or write to Growing Concerns, University of Minnesota News Service, 6 Morrill Hall, 100 Church St. S.E., Minneapolis, MN 55455.

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