|
The loss of self-esteem & self-confidence may deteriorate into feelings of degradation
& depression.
Don't retaliate
- eliminate... When others hurt us, we want to strike back. But if anything that's a very temporary bandage & usually has a reaction like staph germ
on an open wound.
In Dwight D. Eisenhowers book, At Ease: Stories I Tell to Friends, he said,
"I make it a practice to avoid hating anyone. If someones been guilty of despicable actions, especially toward me, I try to forget him.
I used to follow a practice-somewhat contrived, I
admit to writing the man's name on a piece of scrap paper, drop it into the lowest drawer of my desk & say to myself,
'That finished the incident & so far as I'm concerned, that fellow.'"
The drawer
became over the years a sort of private wastebasket for crumbled-up "spite."
There are several so-called emotions that are inherently stuck. Feel
them & you stay in them. They
remain around forever, unless the real truths beneath
them are felt.
Some inherently stuck feelings are:
Feeling them for any longer than
it's necessary to recognize them isn't productive. Be on the lookout behind these stuck feelings for other unwanted feelings (such as childhood hurt, love, fear, rage or grief)
which, if felt, could help change the immobility.
It's often, but not always true that:
It's
suggested that you use this paragraph as a likely starting point for exploration of your own stuck emotions.
degradation
isn't withheld for insult of feelings between men & women - it can also be used against races...
the year 1848
The
First American Women's Rights Convention takes place in Seneca Falls, New York.
Benjamin Roberts, a free black living in Boston, attempts to enroll his daughter Sarah in the public schools,
but she is denied entrance
because of her race.
Roberts, joined by anti-slavery activist Charles Sumner sues the city, challenging its segregated school system. Anticipating arguments that would be made a century later, Roberts & Sumner argue that black schools have inferior resources to white schools & that segregation injures both races.
They contend that segregation creates
feelings of degradation among blacks & fosters prejudice in whites. The next year, in Roberts v.
City of Boston, 59 Mass. 198 (1849), the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts rejects Roberts' & Sumner's arguments. The Court holds that they hadn't proven that the black school was
inferior.
domestic violence includes inflicting feelings of degradation...
Mental &
Emotional Abuse is harm to a partner's ability to think, reason or have feelings, intimidation, degradation & humiliation, or demonstrations
of omnipotence.
Emotional abuse takes the form of systematic degrading of the victims self-worth.
This
may be accomplished by:
- withholding of affection
- name-calling
- using put-downs
- making threats
- abusing pets
- discussing love affairs
- refusing to talk
- showing extreme jealousy
- taking anger with spouse out on the children
- refusing a partner friends, time, money & interests of their own
- acting in other ways that imply that the victim
is crazy
Emotional abuse can be
the hardest for women to identify.
Degradation of the Brain with
Age
by Ron Kurtus (7 July 2002)
Just as a child
learns various life skills as their brain develops, elderly people face a degradation of
those skills due to the brain not functioning as well as before. This can be seen most distinctly in patients with Alzheimer's
disease. They're essentially living life in reverse. Many people in their senior years can delay the mental
degradation process by remaining active.
Questions you may have include:
- How do life skills degrade
with age?
- What are solutions for Alzheimer's patients?
- What are solutions for senior citizens?
The following material answers those questions.
Comparing life skills
The following chart compares how the life skills of a child increase with age,
while the same skills decrease in an Alzheimer's patient. These skills also decrease in the same manner as a person ages,
although usually the person would die of some other disease before reaching the moderately severe stage of an Alzheimer's
patient.
Source: Barry Reisberg, Silberstein Aging & Dementia
Research Center, NYU
Alzheimer
solutions
There really isn't much that
can be done about the degradation of the brain & associated skills that come with old
age if the person is inflicted with a disease such as Alzheimer's. Medical science is working on drugs & therapies that
can delay this process.
Activity can
delay process
Other people who are in their
senior years can delay this process thru maintaining their health & staying as physically and mentally active as possible.
The brain is like a muscle
& exercising it will help to maintain knowledge & skills. Physical activity allows a person to be able to perform
the various tasks, as well as providing amble blood supply to the brain.
In conclusionElderly people face a degradation of various life skills due
to the brain not functioning as well as before. This is especially true for Alzheimer's disease patients. They're essentially
living life in reverse. Many people can delay the mental degradation process by remaining
active.
10 Ways to Raise Children to Use Drugs - by Leah Davies, MEd
1. Obey their demands.
Give in to their tantrums. Deny them nothing. If they want it, indulge them. Make sure they know you'll always be there to get them out of trouble. If they
break a toy or wreck a car, replace it.
2. Overlook, defend, or rescue them from the consequences of their negative behavior. Accept their excuses or blame others by saying things such as, "My child would never do that!", "It can't be her fault; it must
be the school's fault!", or "The other child made him do it."
3. Disregard moral
principles. Be dishonest. Involve your children in lying or cheating others & taking pleasure in the misfortune of others. Encourage insecurity
by telling them to keep secrets from other family members or family secrets from others.
4.
Avoid touching, hugging & taking time to interact with your children. Deny the existence of their emotional & social needs. Discourage them from expressing feelings & isolate them from friends, organizations & activities. Disregard their physical needs.
5. Ignore their worthwhile & constructive habits. Avoid complimenting or praising their efforts.
When they've done something well, make fun of it. Belittle their ideas, interests & accomplishments. Dwell on their weaknesses.
Expect them to fail. Express hopelessness in their ability to succeed or to cope positively with life's stresses.
6. Pretend you never make mistakes or have problems. Expect perfection from your children. Judge
them harshly if they make a mistake or misbehave. Never forgive, but instead hurt & degrade
them by yelling, blaming, shaming, whipping, humiliating, or threatening to abandon them.
7.
Establish & enforce tough, rigid rules. Discourage thought & questions by demanding that they do what you want, when you want it done. Never help them think of ways to
work thru their own problems. Demonstrate your distrust of them by questioning everything they do & discount their right
to privacy & independence as they mature.
8. Keep children constantly on guard
by being unpredictable. Become angry at an action one day & laugh at it the next. Avoid any kind of routine. Let them decide when to eat & sleep. Allow
them to watch television continually without your supervision or guidance. Avoid traditions. Rarely eat dinner as a family.
Treat them differently. Have a "favorite" child who can do no wrong & a "bad" child who can do no right.
9. Remain uninformed about drugs & drug use. If you smoke, drink alcohol excessively, or use
other drugs, make excuses & deny your own use. Never discuss your attitudes or feelings about drugs. Disregard the facts concerning the negative effects drugs have on the mind & body.
10. Above all else, discount your own
value as a human being. Communicate anger & resentment toward life. Engage in self-indulgent, self-destructive behaviors.
|
 |
|
About Self Love - By Barbara Rose
1. How do
I love myself?
2. How can I feel like I don’t need approval & validation from anyone else anymore?
3. Why is
it so hard for me to love myself?
4. What can I do to really feel happy inside?
5. Why is it so hard for me to take a compliment?
6. How can I know if someone loves me for who I am?
THE ANSWERS
1. How do
I love myself?
Love of Self is simply a view of Self. If you view yourself with a great deal of compassion & suspend all judgment, then replace that
judgment with understanding & compassion, you'll come closer & closer to love your authentic self.
So many people have taken on the views of others during their
earlier years & haven't learned how to replace those views with the pure truth.
The
way to do this is to immediately stop insulting yourself, cutting yourself down & degrading
yourself.
This is paramount!
Instead of saying: “I stink at this” say: “I'm doing my best & that's all that's needed.”
You have
to bring all of the small insulting lies that you tell yourself up to your conscious awareness.
Once you NOTICE what you're actually telling yourself & if it's degrading,
simply notice it without any judgment whatsoever & then replace it with something more compassionate & understanding.
Speak to yourself the way you would to someone that you have great respect for.
Love of Self & love for any other person comes from our views & perceptions. It's all within the mind. Our mind is governed by our thoughts.
Our thoughts create our feelings. Our feelings urge us into action & the cycle continues.
So in order to truly love yourself, you must change how you view yourself & that can only be with complete compassion, care, respect & honestly
taking a conscious effort to change the verbal abuse you dish out to yourself when you aren't even aware of it most of the
time.
People that love themselves do NOT degrade themselves. I wouldn’t dare degrade
YOU, so please immediately stop degrading yourself & come to embrace your unique qualities.
You chose those qualities & attributes for your unique contribution in this world.
Honor what makes you “different” because that's your unique Light that you are on this Earth to shine!
Treat yourself
the way you wish someone else would treat you & always give yourself a heartfelt hug for the sacred person that you are.
2. How can I feel like I don’t need approval & validation from anyone else anymore?
If you're
going to base your sense of self worth on the changing views & perceptions of others, then it's like building a house
on shifting sand.
Every person has the right to their own views & perceptions
& no one has the right to judge you.
It's solely
your view of self that matters, because only you can live your truth!
You know what
feels true for you inside & what doesn't. Another person can't ever live your truth, or tell you what's true for you.
Once you start to honor what feels true for you in your heart & simply go for it without even speaking about it to anyone else, you'll come to
feel a great measure of inner confidence that grows each time you honor what feels right to you in your heart – not your head, or your fears, but in your heart.
It takes practice, like anything else & once you get used to honoring & following your own inner truth, you'll no longer feel the need to receive validation & approval from anyone, ever.
3. Why is it so hard for me to love myself?
It's hard because no one ever taught you how to honor yourself, your preferences, your talents, abilities, strengths, inner gifts & areas of self expression that are uniquely
yours.
So if you were never taught how to do something, why are you being so hard
on yourself?
Now, all you really need to do – which is actually quite simple, is to tell yourself every good quality you have on the inside in front of the
mirror, each day, based on your observable actions.
Begin a dialogue to become friends
with the person you see every day.
So if you fed your pet, that's being caring. If
you called a friend that is going thru a hard time - that's being compassionate. If you went to work so you can pay your bills
- that's being responsible.
So you're to walk up to that face in the mirror &
as hard as it will be for your ego to do this dialogue, what will happen is that you are slowly, day by day, going to become
your own best friend.
You're going
to feel more self-appreciation. You're going to feel more care for yourself. This mirror process truly works! I've taught
it to countless people over the last decade & I also had to go thru it myself for over 2 years, every day, to chip away
at the lies I was told growing up & replace it with authentic truth, based on my observable actions, so my big ego would
actually believe me.
Trust that there will be fierce resistance to this from your
ego in the beginning. I actually cursed at myself my first time in front of the mirror over a decade ago. I wouldn’t
dare curse at myself now!
I can attest that every single person I teach this to &
share this with, now loves themselves genuinely. The ego is melting away, along with the self-degrading lies.
If you really
want to love yourself, the old beliefs must be transformed. It's like cleaning out an inner closet with an old belief system & replacing
it with authentic truth.
- No one can give this to you but you.
- No one can love you & make you feel lovable.
- You have to know & believe you're lovable.
This is just
one technique that cost nothing & brings about astounding change every single time.
You
have to also realize that it's your responsibility to learn how to appreciate yourself, no matter what circumstances are facing
you & never seek to validate yourself from the outside in, because you can only be validated
from the inside out. This will get you there a LOT faster than anything I've ever come across.
4.
What can I do to really feel happy inside?
First, do the mirror technique that I outlined above twice a day, for two
years.
Then, imagine that you have a clean slate before you – called your life
– & that there was a guarantee that if you followed your truth, you could NOT FAIL.
What
do you really want to do with your days & nights? If you had 12 million dollars in the bank & you already owned every
THING that you have ever wanted to own, what would you love to do so much that you would do it for free?
What are the natural talents &
abilities that you have? What are you naturally good at? What makes you feel so alive?
These
are the questions that you have to ask yourself, so that you can get to the core of who you are on the inside & then you'll
be able to live it & love every minute of it on the outside.
The only things that make me feel happy are when I'm with my children, when I'm giving my private consultations & intensives, writing (this
for you : )) working (in absolute JOY) on inspire! magazine,
going out in nature, doing my hobbies, really enjoying the night sky, or a sunset – they're simple pleasures.
Being with
friends & laughing – that’s something we could all use more of! Bringing thru information from Divine Source
in my writings – I love every minute of it! I love to travel (sometimes) & there's so much in life that I love. So I create time to do it all during my days & nights.
I had to
CREATE my life, no one gave it to me.
You have to create the life of your dreams,
based solely on what you love & on how you can serve from your heart so that you're really making a difference.
For
me, personally, there is no greater joy than when I'm making a difference – that’s why I love the work (joy) that I do so much!
Many times I'm volunteering & do NOT get paid
for my work – like right now. And I still love it just as much as if I was paid ten thousand dollars for the few hours it takes to put this together.
You came into this life for a purpose. The key is to find out what that purpose is, so you CAN move in that
direction & live your life in-joy!
It's then that you'll be doing everything
that'll make you happy, because you'll be living from the inside out, rather than looking for an answer from the outside in.
5. Why is it so hard for me to take a compliment?
Probably because
you're so used to taking insults. I was there too! If someone complimented me I'd say: “Oh, that’s not true.”
Because what I really wanted was more validation. I then learned a simple technique that actually
changed that. I learned to simply say Thank You.
For the first
dozen or so compliments, it was really hard for me to do that. Then, I began to feel more comfortable accepting a compliment.
NOW, I learned NOT to take a compliment seriously at ALL – because it's based solely &
completely on the views of another person & what's in their mind – which has nothing to do with me!
Additionally, I don’t take an insult personally either – how freeing!
I can be completely open to constructive critique, such as when I’m working on a project,
however, I no longer take it into the core of my being like I used to.
Just say “Thank
You” when someone compliments you & should anyone ever insult you, just know that it's coming from their own perceptions
& never take it seriously.
Moreover,
people do like to express their views. So if someone does share their views with you, just know that they're entitled to them
& maintain your own view of self with a lot of loving compassion & zero self-judgment – that's the key!
6. How can I know if
someone loves me for who I am?
By your keen instincts, the subtle things you pick up on &
really being honest with yourself. Perhaps someone adores you & you may not feel worthy of that. So you may doubt that anyone can really love you for you.
When you really love & value yourself, in a genuine way – without all of the ego, you will come to trust your feelings & perceptions. You'll instinctually “know” if someone is for real or not. The trick here is are you being
real with yourself, or are you playing games with yourself & not following your own truth?
We tend to doubt others when we doubt ourselves. We also pick up on the authentic feelings other people have for us when we're being authentic with ourselves.
Trust
your feelings & get your head out of the way. Move more into your heart center & dare to expose how you really feel – even
if it's just to yourself. You'll find that when you're completely honest with yourself & the feelings in your heart, you can then learn to trust what you're picking up from other people.
You'll trust yourself & you will be able to follow what feels true for you. You'll also know if someone
really does or doesn't love you – you'll know – once you come to know & honor what you feel inside fully.
© Copyright by Barbara Rose. All Rights Reserved. Re-printed with permission.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
